Say yes to this, say yes to that... Yes, saying yes can bring much positivity and good into your life. But that doesn't mean you have to make the word 'No' a villain in your story. Knowing when to say no might be even more important than knowing when to say yes. Avoiding using 'no' as an answer can get you into a much trouble since people are built to sense and use the people-pleasers. If you have a problem with that, don't worry! You're not the only one, and we're here to help. Here are six effective strategies for saying no with confidence.
1# Acknowledge that it's good for your health
The first thing we need to unravel is the sensation of negativity that is the core and base of this word. Yes, it's a negation, but it can bring many positive things to your life! This is the one word that is the absolute must for setting personal boundaries. If your boss wants you to stay and work after your shift, you need to know how to decline that and not worry about it afterward. It may seem harsh at first glance, but the boundaries are the things that make your personality.
If you have none, you're at risk of becoming a fluid being that doesn't know what they are. Seeing this issue from the perspective of your health will help you realize the benefits of saying no. Hopefully, you'll start using it more often and setting your boundaries fearlessly.
2# Be aware that others will say no to you too
One of the most common misconceptions that people don't say no to as often is that, if they do, everyone around them will behave the same way. They won't. And they shouldn't. This is a cruel world with a lot of toxic people, and everyone needs to look after themselves. So, don't be afraid to set boundaries and say no when needed. An excellent way to start is to listen to people saying no to you. Also, you can try and follow what people you consider confident say when they don't feel comfortable with something. Raising awareness that other people do it too can be a great push in the right direction since it won't be as uncomfortable for you to say it.
3# Instead of being aggressive, try being assertive
People often assume they need to be rude while rejecting an offer to show how serious they are. Avoiding aggression in favor of a more emphatic "no" usually leads to greater understanding and compromise. Keep your cool and avoid being impolite. Saying no should be done with clarity and compassion for the other person's sentiments.
Politely declining is not bad
Being assertive enables you to articulate your thoughts and feelings in a manner that the other person can hear and comprehend while yet feeling heard and comprehended. This easy method of politely declining others' requests can help you develop a stronger sense of self-expression and clarity about what really works for you. These are the third of several easy ways to avoid saying yes when you really mean no.
4# The key is being straightforward
Keeping things simple is the best. A common mistake among newbies that are only learning to say "No" is giving too much explanation. You have your reasons and don't have to write an essay about them for the other party. Instead, you can briefly explain why you can't do it and let the individual know. You don't need to go into too much detail since it isn't necessary and might lead to the other party attempting to argue your position when all you want to say is, "No, thank you."
5# Rehearse saying no with confidence
Not everyone is extroverted enough to be comfortable with saying no eye-to-eye. There are many people with performance anxiety, and that's okay. However, you can't permanently hide behind a text or an email. It's helpful to practice saying "no" in advance, so you're ready for these scenarios. Rehearsing your lines in front of a mirror will help alleviate your concerns about sounding robotic or unnatural. An even better and more efficient rehearsal would be in front of someone you love and trust. A family member or friend can help assure you that you're doing it alright and that it's normal before you get comfortable enough to say it to other people.
6# Appropriate body language can make things easier
The first thing people notice, subconsciously and often consciously, is how your body presents your decision to the world. Strong and confident leaders send messages via their bodies before they open their mouths. A good rule of thumb is to practice saying no to your body via some general "negative" body language. For example:
Saying yes all the time can be exhausting and energy-draining. Once you see that a simple "No" is not a bad word (quite the opposite), you'll have much more time and energy to invest in things you want to say yes to. So, try out these strategies for communicating no with confidence and witness the significant difference yourself. This will significantly help your evolution as a person and a path to a happier life.
Monica Adams is a psychologist and a consultant at Royal Moving Company, invested in helping people deal with stressful times and other day-to-day problems. She says she’s the happiest when she spends a day in the sun with her family and when she sees that her advice helped someone in need.