The Dos and Don'ts of Dealing with Toxic People

Pollution is all around us. Rivers, soil, air... there's toxic waste everywhere. However, the most dangerous toxins often come in human forms. It can be the most charming person in your environment or someone very close to you. People you're closest to have the most power to poison you. If they have that kind of venom in their heart, you can be exposed to the most difficult toxicity of all. In those situations, it's essential to recognize the problem and follow the basic dos and don'ts of dealing with toxic people.

Do: Put a finger on their effect on your emotions

The most dangerous toxin that toxic people produce is the one that wraps up all the other toxins in a shiny paper of false good intention. Manipulative people often come off as the most charming and sincere human beings. Months may pass before you even begin to comprehend that something is not quite right. But, once you hear that tiny voice in your ear that starts whispering around them, it's time to take a good look at your inner being. They're saying the sweetest things, but somehow your gut turns to knot every time they open their mouth.
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Listen to your emotions. Emotions that you feel are effective subconscious defense mechanisms that you should never ignore. The only way you'll be able to deal with toxic people and defend yourself from malice is - to identify and acknowledge your inner defense mechanisms.

Don’t ignore your emotions; they’re there to warn you before your conscious self can comprehend what’s going on.

Don't: Let them under your skin

One of the few worst talents toxic people possess is making you doubt yourself. They master the art of destroying confidence and making people insecure. Keep in mind - no one is always right, and no one is always wrong. So, if someone makes you feel like you're a walking mistake, it's probably because they're subtly tearing your confidence and draining your energy for a long time. Once you recognize that behavior, make sure not to let that person influence your self-esteem; build a wall by using your logic. Separate what they say from what they do. That will help you put everything in perspective and put your thoughts first.

Do: Make a distance

Your surroundings have a significant impact on your outer and inner well-being. That's why, when you recognize the toxic person in your immediate environment, you must take proper measures to distance yourself as soon as possible. Unfortunately, one of the drastic measures that are vital sometimes is moving far away. According to experts at familyaffairmoving.com, in cases when your psychological well-being depends on the move, it's best to find a new home at a place that motivates you and helps you feel at peace. 

Or find the alternative

However, sometimes, it's not possible to do that. In those cases, a good alternative is to:

• spend the bare minimum of your time with the toxic person
• be unavailable
• make a mental distance from their attitude
• physically remove yourself from their radiant aura

Don't: Let them suck you in their universe

Being around poisonous conduct can wear you out. This individual probably continually grumbles about other people, always has a new tale about the injustice they endure, or they try to convince you that you hurt them in some way. What is happening is that they are drawing your subconsciousness into the miserable world of dull suffering. The best thing you can do is to avoid any further interaction. Resist the temptation to join them in grumbling or defend yourself against their charges. A good old "that's tough, buddy" and walking away will do the job perfectly. It will be better for your health to read a good book or do something creative instead of wasting time listening to someone's whining. 

Reading about the lead character’s struggles will be way more productive for you than dealing with toxic people and letting a toxic person drain your energy.

Do: Work on yourself

​Toxic individuals will make every effort to highlight your shortcomings and minimize your accomplishments. This is how they maintain their position of control. The best thing you can do is to work on yourself and accept every single bit of your being. Focus on self-care. If you are able to take ownership of both your strengths and shortcomings, then what other people think of you won't matter. You will know that your strengths are more than sufficient to make your deficiencies irrelevant, and no one can use them against you (no matter how hard they try).

Don't: Try to fix them

​It's a tale as old as time that manipulative and toxic persons take their malign, broken personalities and mask them into something naive that 'just' needs help. Many women stay in abusive relationships with manipulative partners because they think they can help and fix them. However, the truth is - you can't fix anyone, especially not a toxic person. They are the only ones that can improve themselves if they choose to do so. Unfortunately, that is unlikely to happen. Remember that toxic persons love to feed off your empathy and suck the life out of people around them. Invest your time and energy in personal growth and achieving life goals. 

Not even Bob the Builder can fix a person that doesn’t want to be fixed. Don’t waste your time.

Dealing with toxic people is not easy​

​It's easy to give advice about dealing with toxic people from a distance. Doing it is something else. You might feel trapped and suffocated internally. You might feel like you're not strong enough to do it on your own. And that's completely alright. There's no shame in needing help. When you recognize the problem, make sure to seek it from the people you fully trust or experienced mental health professionals. Don't forget - even if everything seems dark and miserable, hope waits at the bottom of Pandora's box. There's no obstacle you can't overcome, and you'll come out as a winner from this too. Believe in yourself. I believe in you.